WTB: Best joke..?

[its_bacon12 10+ year member]

ok ok i know its for sale forum and for car audio but here it goes

i hav 6.78 chillin in paypal thats just bugging me so i figured id do this : best joke in this thread gets $6.78 paypal

fire away //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/biggrin.gif.d71a5d36fcbab170f2364c9f2e3946cb.gif

WARNING: may contain offensive material so leave all political, religous and personal beleifs out of this thread please //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif

edit: 6.5 hours left as of 2:30 pm 02/17/05

Click to read more...

 

[Bigrick31 10+ year member]

Ok so there is this guy who has a few daughters. Well the daughters are getting to that curious age and he notices that when he gets out of the shower they are hanging around the bathroom a lot. So one day he asks them “what are all hanging around here so much for?” and they reply “were trying to see a whoo whoo.” The father then replies, “Well ill tell you all you need to know about whoo whoos. They are very, very poisonous don’t ever touch one. Then the youngest daughter replies no they aren’t if they were the dog would be dead.

 

[BoominBeast]

There was a kid who just turned 5. yesterday he was 6.

 

[derek33 10+ year member]

(im not racest, anti jesus, or anti gay. they are just jokes i heard)

what do you call a homosexual with diarea?

a juicyfruit

why cant jesus eat skittles?

cause they would fall through the holes in his hand

how do you keep a black person from drowning?

take your foot of his face

Why do all the girls love jesus?

Cause he was hung like this [hold hands out like his crucifixion]

 

[Johnny Drama 5,000+ posts]

One day a mother of 4 ran out of peas while making pea soup. Nearest thing around was BB's from her oldest sons pellet gun. So she added them in the hopes to feed her family. After dinner her young dauter came to her and said "mom, I am peeing bbs." Mom asked her if it hurt, the dauter said no so Mom assured her that there was nothing to worry about and to go to bed. F few minutes later her youngest son came to her and told her that he was also peeing BBs. She assured him that if it didnt hurt then nothing was wrong. Her oldest dauter came to her and told her that she too was peeing bbs. Mom again assured her nothing was wrong and to go to bed. That night just before her oldest son was going to bed he came to her and started to tell her something but the mom cut him off and tried to assure him that there was nothing to worry about with the BBs, the son told her that there was something wrong and that he had been jacking off and accidentially shot the dog.

 

[LBX2G 10+ year member]

Ok so there is this guy who has a few daughters. Well the daughters are getting to that curious age and he notices that when he gets out of the shower they are hanging around the bathroom a lot. So one day he asks them “what are all hanging around here so much for?” and they reply “were trying to see a whoo whoo.” The father then replies, “Well ill tell you all you need to know about whoo whoos. They are very, very poisonous don’t ever touch one. Then the youngest daughter replies no they aren’t if they were the dog would be dead.

that came form the blue collar tour.

 

[analogkid]

how many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub?

i dunno i keep eating them.

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what do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?

a flamethrower.

 

[Bigrick31 10+ year member]

that came form the blue collar tour.

yea i was watching it last night.

One day a mother of 4 ran out of peas while making pea soup. Nearest thing around was BB's from her oldest sons pellet gun. So she added them in the hopes to feed her family. After dinner her young dauter came to her and said "mom, I am peeing bbs." Mom asked her if it hurt, the dauter said no so Mom assured her that there was nothing to worry about and to go to bed. F few minutes later her youngest son came to her and told her that he was also peeing BBs. She assured him that if it didnt hurt then nothing was wrong. Her oldest dauter came to her and told her that she too was peeing bbs. Mom again assured her nothing was wrong and to go to bed. That night just before her oldest son was going to bed he came to her and started to tell her something but the mom cut him off and tried to assure him that there was nothing to worry about with the BBs, the son told her that there was something wrong and that he had been jacking off and accidentially shot the dog.

i heard a joke just like that when i was about 7. except it was with cookies and bbs and the boy farted and killed the dog.

 

[tommyk90 5,000+ posts]

how many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub?
i dunno i keep eating them.

Dead baby jokes pwn

 

[jujumantb 10+ year member]

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

Acne doesn't come on your face until you're atleast 13.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing she hasn't already been told twice.

How do you keep a black guy from going out on the weekend?

Pour more gasolene on him.

^also please dont take offense, I dont condone such activities.

 

[its_bacon12 10+ year member]

derek33 and jujumantb are doin the best, i wanna let this run out for a day or so before i decide...

so far im lovin it //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/smile.gif.1ebc41e1811405b213edfc4622c41e27.gif haha pour on more gasoline... //content.invisioncic.com/y282845/emoticons/laugh.gif.48439b2acf2cfca21620f01e7f77d1e4.gif

skittles are good tho derek! too bad jesus cant have them

 

[Termlab 10+ year member]

What kind of cheese doesnt belong to you???

nacho cheese!!!!

You're so foul the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper!!!

What's the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a cheerleader???

Doing the splits and 8 class rings fall out!!!

Young Tommy's mom was surprised by him when she was getting out of the shower. "what is that, mommie?". tommy asked, pointing to the area between her legs. Thinking fast, his mom said, "well Tommy, i was hit by an ax there." "wow!" said tommy. "they got you right in the Pu-ssy!"

Your sister used to have a bad rash on her chin, but then she started cupping the balls with both hands.

 

[its_bacon12 10+ year member]

What's the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a cheerleader???

Doing the splits and 8 class rings fall out!!!

......

...my girlfriend is a cheerleader.......

 

[tRiGgEr 5,000+ posts]

This is pretty grose.

Two gay guys are going at it in the bedroom. One stops and says I need to go to the bathroom, don't finish with out me. So he goes to the bathroom. 3 minutes later he comes back out to find the ceiling, walls, and bed covered in ***. He becomes upset and says I told you to wait. The other guy says I did, I just farted...

Yeah it's pretty disgusting and I'll delete it if it's too much for most guys.

 

[Termlab 10+ year member]

Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball???

You cant get more than 3 fingers in a bowling ball!!!

What do soybeans and vibrators have in common??

they're both meat substitutes.

How ugly is your girlfriend???

well, they pay HER to go to the zoo so the monkeys stop jerking off!!!

A big breasted babe married an old billionaire, hoping to kill him with sex on thier honeymoon. She was surprised to see him come to bed buck naked except for earplugs, noseplugs, and a condom. she asked him, "why are you wearing those" the rich old fart repliied, " i hate the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber!!!"